Left Behind…

I have to admit I’ve sort of avoided this space for the last few weeks. Real life has been hard and edgy and not very much fun, throw mother’s day in there and I just wanted to hide in the back of my closet.

I thought I was sleeping in (a perk of homeschooling) and it was only 8 AM.

I stepped in dog poop with bare feet this morning…

Bummer.

So…Mother’s Day…

My family left me behind yesterday. I was wrapping up the fundraiser for the youth group after the service and they all left.

We brought two vehicles in because we were leading worship that morning. I zoomed out to pick up one of the kids while the rest were on the way to the church. After church I gave my eldest leave to head home with his siblings in one vehicle, he thought I was with dad and dad thought I was sitting in the van with the kids. I had plenty of offers for a ride home but I wanted to see how long it took for them to realize they’d left without me…

I actually thought it was hysterical! It just seemed so appropriate to be left behind on mother’s day…

But I was okay with it!!

Two reasons:

Reason #1:

I read this post by Lisa Jo about laying down our expectations and it was such a good thing for this weary mom’s soul to read. Trust me, last year I would have been throwing the biggest pity party you’ve ever seen complete with fireworks and a fog machine!

Reason #2:

I went and watched Mom’s Night Out with some girlfriends (20 kids between the 4 of us) on Saturday and the message of that movie landed straight in my heart where it needed to be…you really want to go see it! Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Leb6Vnhbp1A

Mother’s Day was actually a really lovely day with all of us (minus one) sitting around in the newly renovated living room enjoying each other’s company…one of the best mother’s days ever…nothing contrived or forced and that was the sweetest gift. We went to the in-laws for supper and had a lovely time there, too, playing games and such things.

But the blog has been left behind..

Because these weeks have been some of the hardest…

- we have a son with some severe anxiety going on and he’s kinda sabotaging his semester – trying to deal with that from a distance

- our eldest son’s class had their graduation ceremonies this month. Since he is home educated, he wasn’t up there with them and that gave me a little sad pang. (that feeling left behind feeling again) Kind of a right of motherhood that I will not get to participate in with him. On the other hand, we were in the middle of a renovation and other crises so I was thankful we weren’t dealing with grad on top of all that.

- we were really sick here for the last few weeks….with seven people in the house, well, we fell like dominoes and it was ugly

- we started a renovation project in our living room right before all the sick stuff hit…so my couch and television were taking up space in the kitchen, the kids were trying to practice piano in the hallway…and I was trying to paint a ceiling with a full blown sinus thing going on…progress was s…l…o…w. It still isn’t quite finished…you know baseboards and things that will wait until it rains or seeding is done…but it looks pretty awesome so far and when the couch arrives it will be cause for rejoicing!! That new floor replaced a green shag carpet that had been there for about 35+ years! :)

- we just got started with seeding, we have had to wait because it kept raining and snowing!  In May, I drove through snow to go sit in my friend’s hot tub…last week!!! But we are finally started!

- I am the leader of the women’s ministry in our church and we had the most difficult time planning our event, the enemy was out to get us but thank the Lord he didn’t get us…we held on and pressed through and God did the most amazing things…but that was no picnic people

- I was part of the sweet little group that was going to write their e-book in the month of March. Guess who hasn’t published their’s yet? Hands up for the mom who can’t even read her own book without crying right now!! But I got the most lovely encouraging email from one of my spiritual mamas this morning that might just get me back to working on it again…(thank you sweet Nancy)

Why is it that once you wake up after you’ve thought you’ve been sleeping in time suddenly speeds up and it is now almost 10:00 AM and I am still in my pyjamas?

I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day. Remember that mothering has nothing to do with giving birth. Mothering is about nurturing and caring and loving and you don’t have to share your body with another human in order to qualify for a mothering position…

Blessing all, the crazy grace is still flowing around here and I am so thankful for that!

 

About Lani

With six kids, a farm, a ministry and dreams poking out in every direction I need plenty of grace to keep all the balls in the air. The sweet thing is that when I drop them, that crazy grace of God is there telling me I'm still okay...and you are, too...welcome to this place of grace.

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4 Responses to Left Behind…

  1. martha brady
    Twitter:
    May 12, 2014 at 10:30 am #

    i love this post lani! reminds me of a few times over the years when i intentionally had to just stay home and be quiet. the craziness of life had caught up with me.

    i wasn’t sick. i just needed to be quiet with Jesus and not worry about how it “looked” for me not to be at church. (my husband never put that pressure on me!)

    glad you had the quiet morning. glad your house and some of your life is showing signs of renewal and refreshing. who knows, maybe spring may yet come to your part of the world:)
    martha brady recently posted…HOW ARE YOUR WORK RELATIONSHIPS?…My Profile

  2. Lani May 12, 2014 at 3:57 pm #

    I suppose I should re-write that…they left me at church!! After the service…but there are days when I would like to get left behind…but when you’re one of the pastor’s wives, that doesn’t happen!
    Lani recently posted…What Will You Do With Him?My Profile

  3. Rachel Q
    Twitter:
    May 13, 2014 at 7:30 am #

    I can so relate to this. I, too, have had a crazy last month and now that Mother’s Day is over it’s good to breathe again! Thanks for these words!
    Rachel Q recently posted…Having our own Mom’s Night OutMy Profile

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